wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
