Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
