She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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