you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I think my nap took me to another dimension
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
