He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
