It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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