Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
