she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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