She's JV to your varsity
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
