not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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