to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
