Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
so much tequila, so little girl.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
