it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
