Sponge bath it is.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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