chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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