He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
The power of my boobs compel you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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