Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
