So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
