Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
