I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
