i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
No stitches, just platelets and will power
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
