yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
