Well douche your snatch and let's go!
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
