Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
