i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
