he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Randomize
