I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
