u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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