too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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