He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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