What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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