P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I didn't notice because vodka
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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