Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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