Soap is not a condiment
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
As shirtless as possible
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
