do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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