apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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