sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
