I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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