This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
