soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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