I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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