wrigley field is MILF paradise
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
