Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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