Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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