did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
So much rum. So many feels.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
