can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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