so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
