ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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