hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
