no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
