Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
