i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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