so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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