it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
