i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
