make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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