He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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