Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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