You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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