I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize