Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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