He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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