I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
