its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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