You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
my poor anus
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize