when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
